Deprecatio imperatori: a prayer for the new year

by David Jason Snow

Translation of original English text into Latin by Quintus

In general English usage, the infinitive "to deprecate" means to express disapproval of something. It derives from the Latin verb deprecare, meaning to ward off disaster by prayer. -- Wikipedia

Brevibus et mollibus digitis With short, unmanly fingers,
merdae cultor, cui labia musculo sphincteri similia sunt, the sphincter-lipped worshipper of excrement
truncum spurcitia unguit anoints his torso with filth
quam a fonte solii aurato labro ornati decerpsit, plucked from the font of his gold-rimmed throne,
Narcissus ventriosus a slack-paunched Narcissus
odore viscerum inebriatus. drunk on the perfume of his bowels.
Subsidit ut imaginem tremulam osculetur, He squats to kiss the rippling reflection,
et, aquis suis gustatis, and, tasting his waters,
necessitate ineluctabili opprimitur, is overcome with unslakable need,
Dum faeces suas impotenter lambit, lapping furiously at his pollution,
Sed frustra: but to no avail:
haec sitis exstingui non potest, this thirst cannot be quenched,
haec fames satiari non potest. this hunger cannot be sated.
O homo inepte, foede, ferrugineus, O loathesome, ocherous vulgarian,
Somniorum taetrorum creator, weaver of noxious fantasy,
Cui oculi muris, rodent-eyed,
Lingua serpentis, serpent-tongued,
Tui fututor mordax, bilious self-copulator,
Tibi imperamus we command you:
Ut temet ipsum totum haurias swallow yourself whole
sicut Ouroboros, like Ouroboros,
et in aeternum and for eternity,
esse desinas. be no more.